I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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