i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
