You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
