She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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