i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this will be a night to untag.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
