I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
