I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
