That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Randomize
