Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
