Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
