I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
