i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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