He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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