I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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