It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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