i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
