idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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