Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
