You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
