Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
