Me too!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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