Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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