You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
