He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
