This girl is more easily done than said...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
