Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
