I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
