a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
