never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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