WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
