If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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