Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How does one acquire holy water?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize