Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you win again, gameday.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
