The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
