it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
