every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
