Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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