You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
