I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
