If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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