Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize