I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
they're like a gay fantastic four
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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