I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
