do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
