Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
