UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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