Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she told me i tasted like america
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
