I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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