i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
