Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
