is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
