I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
