Ambien. No doubt about it.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
