Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He better not be in your backpack
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
