i jhust puked up my retainher.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize