I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
