dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
