How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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