why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
