Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
