this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
