$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
