I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
